How I Found Love and Reunited My Family
Contents
The Chaos Crew and the Disappearing Parents
Imagine being on a date at the best restaurant in town, and then the waiter trips and drops his tray full of live lobster, and one of them pinches you. Well, that’s not even the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. Let’s take it from the beginning.
My mom was a Red Cross advocate for women’s rights, and my dad was her bodyguard, so they were always off to this gala or the other, leaving us back with an army of nannies. And when I say “us,” I mean me and the chaos crew, also known as my five younger siblings. Food battles, mud fights, glitter bombs – they were so extra that even Mary Poppins would snap her little umbrella and sh up a chimney to escape from them.
Every time another nanny left, we got the talk: “I’m disappointed in all of you, but especially you, Martha. You’re the oldest, you should lead by example.” And I would think, “If you were home teaching us instead of running around, I wouldn’t have to take charge. What I do is important, more important than your family.” When Mom didn’t immediately reply, my heart shattered. I rushed to my room and locked it. When Mom came to talk to me later, she said, “Martha, I’m sorry. Of course, I love you.” But I couldn’t help but think, “Maybe it’s better if you never come back.”
And it was like fate really had a twisted sense of humor, because Mom and Dad did not return from their last trip to the Amazon. The police sent out search parties and even used drones to look at their plane that disappeared, but they couldn’t find anything.
I was only 15, and I knew nothing about adulting. I was suddenly surrounded by lawyers asking me questions and making me sign things. “Just pretend you know what you’re doing, and you’ll be fine,” they said. But it wasn’t fine. One of my mom’s lawyers turned out to be a total snake. He conned his way into getting guardianship over everything and then kicked us out and took control of all the assets.
I was super angry, but I didn’t have time for it. The chaos crew had turned into a miserable bunch, and I needed to take care of them first. Right, first step: let’s find a place to live. We all put our birthday cash together, and it was enough for a couple of months’ rent. Finding someone willing to rent to a group of teenagers was quite a challenge, so I had this crazy idea to dress up like an old lady and somehow managed to get us a lease.
Luckily, it was still the summer holidays, so I had time to take up all the gigs I could find – like a plant manager where I literally had to water plants, cornfield pollinator, and even party entertainer. These children are wilder than my siblings, but at least my colleagues are all kind. My siblings pitched in as well, baking tons of cookies and selling them, pretending to be Girl Scouts, and they muddied everyone’s cars at night so they could offer a wash-up service in the morning at a premium, of course.
A New School, New Friends, and a Matchmaking Venture
By the time school started, I had turned 16, and we had all transferred to public school. I was so nervous on the first day, and then I got to class and all the desks were already taken. But then a girl sitting in the last row waved at me. She was dressed in this bright orange shirt with space buns, and her desk was hidden under a pile of comics. “Come here, we can share,” she said. “By the way, I’m Bri. You can call me brilliant Bri.”
Bri was a weirdo, but she was also pretty awesome. She gave me all her notes and knew all the juicy gossip. Eventually, I told her about my story, and she was so supportive. “You’re so strong. I want to be like you. You’re perfect the way you are,” she said. But I didn’t feel perfect. I was almost 17, and I’d never had a boyfriend. Everyone I confessed to just rejected me, and Darius, Bri’s crush, didn’t even know I existed.
Bri’s plan to get Darius’s attention was as crazy as she was. She got dressed up as a chess piece and painted the whole club room as a giant chess board with a banner that said, “Will you be my Checkmate?” But when Darius walked into the door, he freaked out. Luckily, one of his friends intervened, and Bri was done with the guys. Honestly, I had my own problems to deal with, like the time I was getting out of the shower and this gigantic cockroach came out of the drain.
That’s when I realized we needed a new flat, ASAP. I asked for a raise, but when I showed up for my part-time gig at the party entertainer company, the door was sealed off with bright yellow FBI tape, and the entire place was cleared out. At least I got to keep the costume, right? That’s when I met Jasper, who thought my “normal clothes” were very creative. Jasper and Bri hit it off instantly, and shortly after, they started dating.
The Matchmaking Agency and Reuniting My Family
Seeing Bri and Jasper together made me realize that I had a knack for matchmaking. I decided to open a matchmaking agency, and Bri and Jasper helped me throw my first Matchmaker Party. By the end of the night, the donation box was bursting with cash, and everyone was coupled up – almost everyone.
One of my matches, Kiro, turned out to be a total disaster. Every girl I set him up with came back with a nightmare story. But I couldn’t give up on him. I bought a wig and contact lenses and set up a date with Kiro myself. To my surprise, he wasn’t clumsy at all. In fact, he was kind, and he even helped me uncover the truth about the snake lawyer who had conned us.
With Kiro’s help, we were able to track down my parents, who were alive and well, working with Native communities to stop illegal activities. They had left a message for us, but the snake lawyer had hidden it. Once we got the evidence and had the lawyer arrested, my parents finally came home, and I introduced them to all my new friends – especially Kiro, who turned out to be the perfect match for me.
A Happily Ever After
As I saw the happiness on Kiro’s face when I introduced him to my parents, I knew I had made the perfect choice. Welcome to the family, Kiro. Together, we’ll continue to navigate the chaos, but this time, we’ll do it as a united front – the chaos crew, my parents, and my perfect match.